"If it is to be, it is up to me."

Posted on Feb 05 2010 at 4:31 PM


By Melissa Mullineaux

Making the last stroke of color on an art piece for his “I am from…” poem, Jamal raised his head and said, “Alright, I’m done. Can I go now?” I looked at Jamal’s rejuvenated face and responded, “Your name?” “I don’t want to put my name on it,” Jamal said with certainty. After weeks of prodding Jamal to complete his poetry project, I was surprised that he did not want to claim it. I then quickly realized the reason why. I asked, “Jamal, why don’t you want to sign your name on this art piece that is truly a work of art? Look at the lines and feeling behind the colors and images!” “It’s ugly!” he replied under his breath. Understanding his emotions, I compromised and said he could write his name on the back side of the paper. He raised his head and said, “Ok, I’ll do that.” He then put up his chair and headed out and quietly said, “See you tomorrow, Ms. Mullineaux.”

Over the past four months, I have tried many activities to bolster Jamal’s self-confidence. I have created lessons that highlight his strengths and I have seen some improvement. However, his low self-esteem is still a strong force capable of pulling him down if he is not able to understand his true potential sooner rather than later.

Middle school is a trying period for many young people. They are experiencing many personal, emotional, and social changes…all at once! Yet, the students who have already decided at age 12 that they are not smart and talented never leave my thoughts. How do you reach these students? What can teachers do in order to bolster a child’s self-confidence? Many people, when looking back on their time in school, remember at least one teacher who stands out as their favorite. Why? What made them different from all the rest? Did they cater to the student’s needs in a way that enabled him/her to feel successful? Did they hold high expectations of the student? What pushes a student to transition from not believing to believing?

The previous questions, among many others related to self-confidence building, have been weighing heavily on my mind. As a result, I have practiced and found the following five strategies to be successful in uplifting my students: 1) Making materials and activities accessible for them to experience success daily; 2) Showcasing their writing and various projects in the classroom and school hallways; 3) Asking students to take on leadership roles within the classroom; 4) Regular contact with parents/guardians to discuss students’ strengths and contributions to the classroom community; and, 5) Holding high expectations. While these strategies have helped, I am still on the look-out for other strategies to put into practice.

On the topic of self-confidence, I try to keep in mind the following quote by E.E. Cummings: “We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” If students do not have strong parental advocates and/or support systems that provide positive words of encouragement, it is even more critical that we, as teachers, embrace our students as they are and acknowledge regularly their strengths. For those students of mine, such as Jamal, who are having an internal self-confidence battle, I hope to help them to eventually find their way to believing, “If it is to be, it is up to me.”
 

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